More from the UK’s geniuses.

soyun69:

poor puppy..what happens to the “cat” genius.. hmmmm?

Originally posted on The Cat's Blog - www.thecatsdiary.com:

We all respect someone who is clever, they always know what to say, they always do well in life, but sometimes it is nice to spare a thought for the ‘others’ who are… how can I put this without being rude? Um, err, I can’t… spare a thought for others who are ‘thick.’

Here in no particular order, just the way they planned their revision I suspect, are some more answers to exam questions from the UK’s finest, though finest what we haven’t quite put our fingers on yet.

Question: The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. Explain:

Answer: In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain,asked, ‘Am I my brother’s son?’

Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?

Answer: At the bottom.

Question: To change centimetres to metres, you…?

Answer: Take out centi.

Question:

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#Meet Justin

soyun69:

lmao…haaaaaahaaa (in tears)

Originally posted on The Cat's Blog - www.thecatsdiary.com:

My youngest daughter just got a new Pushchair dangly thing, a Beaver (you can tell it’s a Beaver by the faithful, natural colouring and design of course) and I was asked to give it a name.

Justin Beaver

Well in my book there could only be one name for such a handsome Beaver.
Dear cuddly readers please meet Justin Beaver, I called the new toy that because he does look rather like the… I’m sorry I had to go away and look up exactly what Justin Bieber did, apparently he is a Canadian singer-songwriter, dancer, and actor, well you learn something everyday!

JUSTIN BIEBER


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all…

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Oh dear! It’s exam results time in the UK…

soyun69:

what’s a “conker”?

Originally posted on The Cat's Blog - www.thecatsdiary.com:

They say that Japan has the best education system in the world and believe it or not the UK is second, with South Korea third.

Well I don’t know where they people who complied that list get their information from because according to the list of answers to reasonably easy questions (that a Cat could answer without reference, and I don’t mean Google) a lot of students in the UK are very very dumb indeed.

Question: The first cells were probably…?
Answer: Lonely.

Question: Suggest one reason why it is a good idea to collect data by asking the public to observe when conkers open:

Answer: So the government doesn’t have to do it.

Question: What do the following chemical equations stand for – HCOONa:

Answer: Matata.

Question: Write an example of a risk:

Answer: This.

Question: When should a motorist use his or her bright beams?

Answer: When he…

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